Petoskey Rotary Noon Club NEWSLETTER

August 26, 2020

Welcome to the Rotary Club of Petoskey via Zoom on the world wide web. Liz Ahrens, President officiated the meeting. If you did not get the chance to attend, you can watch it from this:  Recording

Pledge/Anthem:  Howard Richards led us in My Country Tis of Thee

4-Way Test:  Dave Thomas

Invocation:  Jeff Wynder

Every day may not be good but there is something good in every day. Alice Morse Earle

Calendar Winners:  Read off by Bob Metzger

Calendar Winners August 26, 2020

Calendar Winner
Sold By
Douglas R. Krusell
Dan Smith
Greg & Mitra Franseth
Lexington, KY
Rachel Swiss
Boyne City
Boyne City
Dan LaMoria
Bay City
Katrina Rappuhn
Nate Drzewicki

Visiting Rotarians:  Kathleen Guy, Traverse City Sunrise


Life Events:  None

Rotary Care List: 

Tim Kauffman fell from a ladder and had a bad injury. He might go home Thursday or Friday, 3 surgeries later. 

Birthdays:  None


Georgia Abbott, Stu Fenton and Jeff Wynder! All celebrating 5 years TODAY!!


Rotary Outing:  There were many thanks from everyone who was able to attend the concert in the park put on by Crooked Tree Arts Center last Friday and the food provided by Dave Thomas.

Calendars:  Karen Ragland thanked everyone who was able to pick up calendars. We only have 29 more to get out there. So lets raise some money!

Walk to End Alzheimer's:  Melissa Thompson let us know of the Rotary Clubs of Petoskey Team for the Walk to End Alzheimer's which is being organized by Sunrise Rotarian Sally Crowley. The virtual walk is August 29th, anywhere, no excuses. If you would like to donate to the team it can be found on the Alzheimer's Association website or contact Melissa

Roadside Cleanup:  I let the club know that Tim Kauffman had an accident and injured his leg pretty bad. Tim usually organizes the Roadside Cleanup and he has asked Jeff Bodette to help this year. It is probably September 26th (Jeff will confirm) and we have had several already sign up, so many thanks. We are looking for 16 volunteers.

People Already signed up are:

Nikki Devitt

Ashley Whitney

Christian Smith

Melissa Thompson +1

Tom & Christine Hammond

Tim Dykstra

Angie Cranney +1

Karen Ragland

Steve Brummeler

Andrea Coronado

Sharon Schappacher

Centennial Planning:  As you know, next year is our club's 100th anniversary.  Liz Ahrens noted that we as a club need to move forward in selecting our big Centennial service project sometime soon. Before COVID-19 hit, our club was exploring three options: (1) Renovations/upgrades at NCMC, (2) Renovations/upgrades at the Winter Sports Park or (3) Creation of a Dog Park. We need to move forward with presentations on those options and come to a final decision. So, in late August through early September, committees that investigated each option will present their information to the club and then we will do an official vote. These programs will be on the following dates:

August 26, 2020 – North Central Michigan College

September 2, 2020 – Winter Sports Park

September 9, 2020 – Dog Park


David Finley; North Central Michigan College Project

Next Week’s Program:  Winters Sports Park Centennial Project - Kendall Klingensmith

Parting Shots:  Howard Richards treated us to Cows With Guns by Dana Lyons in 1996. I can no longer provide links to songs because of copyright concerns. You can always look these up on YouTube. Here are the lyrics to the song though for a good laugh

Cows With Guns

Dana Lyons

Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun

They eat to grow, grow to die
Die to be et at the hamburger fry
Cows well done

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
Cow doldrums

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high

Bad cow pun

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung

Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

The President said "enough is enough
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
Cow dung flung

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
they chewed their last hay
Cows outgunned

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers

Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers
Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

We will fight for bovine freedom
And [E]hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die

Cows with guns